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Joey Sturgis Forum Podcast

Test Blog Post

Homer: Bad Man

Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems. How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel.

Natural Born Kissers

I1A3480-2560-BLURWell, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.” Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.” I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes! Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

Life on the Fast Lane

Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Fire can be our friend; whether it’s toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. Human contact: the final frontier.

  • Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”
  • Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.
  • I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.

Radioactive Man

oak snare edited (3)Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box… Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing. Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!

  1. Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?
  2. Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?
  3. Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”
  4. I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes!
  5. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me. You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way. When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun. I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.

Posted on: May 7th, 2015 by Lewie Snyder 1 Comment



One Response

  1. Lewie Snyder says:

    I hope I didn’t brain my damage. Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true! Fire can be our friend; whether it’s toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.

    1. I was saying “Boo-urns.”
    2. Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.
    3. I’ve had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children…

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